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The Only Way To Have A Friend Is To Be One

The Joys of true friendship

I’m currently loving the good vibes of a long weekend. There’s just something so great about getting a three-day weekend every once in a while to change it up a bit. It’s the equivalent to a mini holiday in an otherwise long few months. Even better than enjoying a three-day weekend is getting to spend it with my best friend. She’s back in town for the weekend and I’m loving it; happy days!

I recently saw a blog post by Tiffany Zimmerman @ The Working Mother’s Notebook. She was talking to her kids about “How to be Friends”. She went on to quote Emerson, saying that the only way to have a friend is to be one.

It’s really quite timely that I happened across this post at the same time my best friend was to be back in town. We usually keep up a long-distance relationship. Yes, it call it a relationship and not just a friendship. We’ve been maintaining this since we both graduated from university and went off to make our mark in the world.

In my opinion, Emerson really sums up the conditions of friendship quite nicely and it got me to thinking. This insider wisdom is something that I’ve been trying to impart onto my kiddies for a while now. With all the girls at stages of their lives in where they’re undergoing changes in activities and interests, they’re also changing friends as well. Because that’s what kids do right, they haven’t quite learned that having friends with differences can actually be advantageous. We’ve had many talks about liking each and everyone for who they are, despite their differences, and to show kindness and respect to all. We’ve had talks about the need to show empathy and understanding, to have the want and inclination to be able to put ourselves into the other person’s shoe and to see what they see. And we’ve had talks to explain that sometimes friends go their separate ways from time to time, but true friends will always withstand and come back together when the time is right.

That’s exactly the way it is with my best friend. We weren’t always friends. In-fact, for a while when we first met at university you could say we were anything but friends. We were chalk and cheese. But we overcame our differences and went on to spend years together. Studying together, living together, working together, holidaying together and no-doubt driving each other crazy together. We shared our dreams and aspirations and helped each other to meet our goals.

These days we’ve gone our separate ways. We faced a fork in the road and I suddenly decided to go left and she kept working towards her goals to the right.

Thankfully our friendship has survived (like it wouldn’t)! When you have such respect and love for one another, and a deep-rooted appreciation for the friendship and you each commit yourselves, I think you’re in with a good chance. Essentially, I think that’s what Emerson was saying. It goes both ways, and takes a fair amount of contribution. Nothing comes for nothing, it all takes work, but the rewards in doing so are exponential. To quote my dear friend, you won’t get it if you don’t ask for it.

So girls, next time you’re facing friendship struggles, remember that you have to put yourself out there. Say what you want, mean it, work for it, respect it, and value it. In turn, it will all work out for the best. Remember, the only way to have a friend is to be one.

With love to my best friend. xx

Do you keep up a long distance relationship with a friend? Are you friends with someone now who you weren’t always friends with?

It was a set-up!

Playdate: (n) a scheduled appointment for children to get together and play, typically arranged between parents for the children.

So, I went on a date last night.

It was a set-up type date.

Strangely enough, it wasn’t with the BF.

Not even kidding. Although it turns out that he was the mastermind behind it.

I had planned to stay home and study. On a Saturday night. I know, I know, such a good girl (read: boring). Then before I know how it all happened, I’m joining the BF’s parents in Sydney Harbour to watch the fireworks for the Royal Navy Fleet Review… sans BF. Yep, I was all alone (he had to work, sucker)!

I have to admit, I felt as though I’d just been booked for a play-date. I can now completely understand how the kiddies must feel when I arrange for them to go on play-dates with new friends… awkward.

Thankfully, despite my original nerves (read: I’m totally shy), we had a great night.

Source

By the way, did I mention that I just love fireworks? There’s something so special about them.

A he said/she said date. Anyone else had a similar experience?

Makeup. Because you’re worth it?

Oops, was that my alarm?
Guess I kind of like my ‘beauty sleep’.. It’s lucky I’m a nanny.

No place for makeup and heels in this field. Besides, what kind of a role model would I be to those girls if I did. This way they can see that true beauty doesn’t need any enhancements.

Toot Toot: I think I can, I think I can.

As I sit drinking my coffee with my back to the sun, I can feel it warming the back of my neck. Warming it almost to the point that I’m forced to rethink my decision to forgo the sunscreen (rookie error), and the cool breeze billows through my hair, talking to me, soothing me, almost as though its enticing me into a better mood. The day has a very summery feel to it, a promise of freedom, happy adventures and a slower, easy life. It has a feel that I can’t quite put my finger on, a typical summer’s day feel. An element of je ne sais quoi. And yet I can’t seem to bring myself out of the dull, drab, murky cloud that has been looming over me since I woke up this morning.

I want to be out enjoying the weather at the beach or at the park. I’m instead confronting the piles of uni work that I’ve conveniently stashed aside in the too-hard basket for the last few ~~days~~ weeks!

I do have to admit; it’s not all bad. I am loading up on coffee care of my favourite café, something of what the business types like to call “a working lunch”. So yes, it could be worse.

My most important and pressing pile of papers sees me reading about the importance for teachers to engage students. Of the need to provide students with a sense of motivation, a major factor when achieving the desired learning outcomes. My text talks of the differences between intrinsic and extrinsic motivating factors and the influence of the children’s social surrounds that signal the perception towards self-efficacy. Self-efficacy being the notion that one can only learn and do that to which they believe they can. In simple, having a positive attitude and an “I think I can” approach.

Now, I can’t help but notice the irony at play here.

Because you see, on a beautiful, summery mid-week day I find myself motivated and committed to my studies. I should congratulate myself on that. I really should. I’ve at least got the motivation part down. If I can be so bold as to apply to references made in my text, I’m well on the way to improving and achieving my desired learning outcomes. But there’s a crucial flaw here that could in turn prove to be debilitating if left unresolved. The major factor being that the primary motivation to knuckle down and study is purely of extrinsic ideals – the fear of punishment (or in my case, failure to complete my degree). This fear seems to be the only thing keeping me from tossing the books aside and letting loose at the beach.

But I also know that the combination of being overly tired (and therefore just a tad grumpy) and kind of feeling the overwhelming need to have a good cry, is going to take on and challenge this so-called extrinsic motivation. And yep, newsflash, I think it might just be in with a good chance of winning.

So yes, whilst I believe that I CAN do this. I can sit down and focus and open up my mind to new ideas and engage in reflective thought. This is of course because I understand and know the importance of equipping myself with the appropriate learning tools necessary to keep up-to-date with my studies. I also believe that I CAN crack this bad mood with a little self-prescribed RNR. And naturally, that involves a some much-needed beach-activity.

Therefore, taking all of this into account, I also know that some days,

“it just ain’t gonna happen!”

Which, to be perfectly honest, I actually think is a valuable lesson to learn as a teacher. Some days the classroom dynamic is simply not going to work. Don’t fight it. Work with it. Use it to your advantage. Make the most of it. Help the kids to get the most out of a situation that’s just a little touch and go.

Now where’s that beach towel…catch you later uni, I shan’t be missing you.

Ciao. xx

Tuesday: the new hump-day

It’s Tuesday.

Not quite yet hump-day. But its dragging all the same. We did have tentative plans to go to The Zoo today. But we rescheduled when I checked the weather forecast and saw that afternoon storms were on the agenda. Yep, that wasn’t going to be such a great day out at the zoo.

So we’ve instead been making the most of our time spent inside. As we’re now well into our second (and final) week of the school holidays, it’s highly possible that I am slowly running out of fun-laden activities to keep us all occupied and happy. Disclaimer: I’m actually full of ideas but my material (the kiddies) that I have to work with are kind of holding me back. It doesn’t help when they are self-proclaimed hermits who would rather watch back-to-back episodes of iCarly and Big Time Rush than venture out into the great unknown. Talk about needing a good ‘ol push!

We’ve absolutely turned the kitchen inside-out and upside-down making pancakes, brownies, various fruit muffins, cupcakes and cookies. We’ve turned the house-work into games (yay for getting the laundry done ahead of schedule). We’ve played board games and numerous variations on the classic hide ‘n’ seek. We’ve done arts n craft and colouring in. Oh my have we done some colouring in (sadly I’m pretty sure the red texta is never, ever coming out of the carpet).

We’ve even made a fairy house for our special little fluttery friends out in the rose garden. (Ok so this was probably my favourite activity to be honest. I’m a sucker for some glitter, coloured paper and a glue stick!).

What else can we get up to in the coming days that will entertain a house full of girls? Any ideas you’d like to share? Help is needed!