They Said What?! Archives - Page 2 of 4

Are You Siri-ous?

A Friend To Talk To: Are You Siri-ous?

Miss Charlie and I were in the car the other day en route to a play date with some friends. They were going sailing out on the Harbour, now that’s some play date! I had programmed the address into Google Maps and Siri was guiding me. Miss Charlie piped up from the back and says,

“Why don’t I have series? Mummy and Daddy have series on the iPads but I don’t.”

Not sure what she was on about, I sad something about how they might watch tv and have lots of series on their iPads but that she only uses her iPad for games. There, done. Sorted. That’s that.

“What? I watch tv too! Why would that mean I don’t have series? I really want to have series. I want to have a friend I can talk to.”

OK. I’m pretty sure she’s too young to have seen that episode of Big Bang theory but maybe I’m wrong…

Finally realising that she was actually talking about Siri, that annoyingly monotonous voice in my phone that mispronounces street names, sends me the long way to the milk bar on the corner and calls my ex semi-mother in law instead of the boyfriend on voice call.. awesome.

Getting back to topic, I still wasn’t sure how to answer her question. I began to explain that different iPads have different models, that my iPhone was a newer model than her sisters and that Mummy’s iPad was even newer than Daddy’s. Then I began to explain how lucky she was to even have an iPad to call her own. Mercifully she was spared my ‘back in my day’ speech as we arrived at our destination, and with only three unexpected detours thanks to Siri and her affinity for sending us around the block, I’d say Miss Charlie got off lucky.

Still if I were her, I’d be rethinking that desire to have Siri and just elect to go more for the Scarlett Johansson in Her. Now she’s a person worth dreaming about when you’re in need of a person to talk to.

More They Said What?!

Monday Funny: A Hobo Skipping

Guess what, it’s a Monday and I’m writing this from the comfort of my lounge.

Hello Long Weekend!
So glad you’re here. Please stay a while, happy to have you anytime you want to visit again. Like next week maybe?

Today I’m sharing a blast from the past. Well, the more recent past that is.

This conversation occurred with Miss Charlie not long after I’d become “The Nanny” (quotation marks here because yes, I get how that sounds). The relevance is that I was still getting to know her; the wild, crazy, unpredictable ball of energy that is Miss Charlie, age 6.

At the time I was all: Who. Is. This. Girl?? … she’s crazy!

Now I know: you’ve-just-got-to-smile-and-go-with-it.. “smile, nod, ahuh, cool!”

I’d love for you to give me your take on this.

Is this real?
Did she really do this?
Or is it just a charming, funny, but totally made up story to bring laughter to the likes of newly employed and naive nannies?

… The jury’s still out on that one.

The Hobo Skipping Rope

Miss Charlie came bouncing home from her first day back at school yesterday.
By bouncing, I mean that she was quite literally, jumping up and down with excitement.
Excitement mixed with intense anticipation to get started on the (just announced)
‘Jump Rope for Heart’ fundraising competition happening that term.

In between quick gasps of air and with her head rising 20cm in the air
with each of her sky-jumps, she filled me in on the details.
Although, she was quick to point out a major flaw in this competition;
a competition that naturally as a middle child (major competitive streak),
meant that she’d of course just have to win (her words, not mine).

She says to me that she needs to ‘practice her skipping to win the competition’.
Yep, logically speaking, I can see how she’d need to do this. Practice makes perfect.
(Though it looks as though she’s already doing this,
based on the already noted observations of her jumping up and down on the spot)
..but you know, I could be wrong.

So I say that ‘we could go out to the garden and jump up and down until our heart’s content‘,
(patting myself on the back for that “heart” line – being Jump Rope for Heart and all).
To which she replies:

“I can’t because I don’t have a skipping rope anymore.
I used to have one but I sold it to some hobo!”

So there you have it. A couple of things here:

she was jumping up and down sans skipping rope
she seemingly thinks she can’t practice without a skipping rope, despite (from what I can tell) doing just fine on her own without one
she supposedly sold her skipping rope to a hobo

Disregarding the morality of supposedly ‘selling’ something to a hobo as opposed to ‘giving’ it, a more pressing thought formulating in my mind at the time was:

How does she even know the word “hobo”, let alone use it correctly in a sentence? And yes, as I said, she’s six.

Miss Charlie, age 6

Why Are Horses Different To Cars?

The other day Miss Charlie and I were chatting together on the way home from school, as we do on most occasions. She asks me the “why” questions and I stumble and trip all over myself trying to answer them both accurately and truthfully. It’s always a balance between making sure to answer the questions properly and to satisfy her inquisition, without dumbing it down or ruining the childlike innocence present in her assumptions. Talk about walking a fine line!

On this particular occasion, she wanted to know about cars. And horses.

Based on the direction of this conversation, I presume they must have been learning about cars and other motor vehicles at school that day. I’m presuming this, but to be honest it could have been a totally unrelated-pulled-out-of-thin-air question, because hey, she does that.

“Why are horses different to cars? Why do we have cars now and not horses?

Wouldn’t it be better to ride horses, then we’d get some exercise too instead of just sitting in a car.

Horses can go pretty fast, you know.

So why were cars invented?”

Not exactly my area of expertise Miss Charlie, but challenge accepted.

Source

As I waded through some pretty vague explanations, frantically searching my brain in the vain hope that I may have subconsciously retained any car related info that the BF had sprouted off before realising that it was going over my head, I realised a few very obvious factors.

Horses can’t cover you from the wet weather like cars can. Horses can’t go on and on for days without a rest like cars can. Cheeky little ponies dig their heels in and refuse to move whereas cars will go as soon as you hit the pedal. Hoses need food and water and cars just need petrol. (OK maybe they need oil and water too, but I always forget to check those things. Oops). Yes horses can gallop really fast, but cars are still faster. Although there may be some connection there, given that we talk about cars in terms of ‘horse-power’… Hey, I told you this wasn’t my area of expertise!

Source

Also, if cars break down or get a flat tire, we just take it to the mechanic, whereas if a horse is injured; well it’s a different outcome altogether.

I could see Charlie working this all out in her head, letting the ice cream drip down her fingers as she thought about what I was saying. Suddenly, there were alarm bells emanating from her temples as if speech bubbles. This could be good, or it could be bad. What did I just say that she needed to question?

“But why is it a different outcome for horses?

If they break their leg or hurt themselves really badly, you just take them to the vet!”

Well it’s not that easy sometimes. Horses are very big animals, we can’t just pick them up and put them in the car like we do with our cats and dogs. And there aren’t special horse vets on every corner like there are small animal vets. They have to be trucked off to large animal hospitals, and that can be very expensive and stressful on the horse.

“But still, why can’t they be fixed?”

Well, they can be fixed. But sometimes it’s too difficult to fix. Sometimes the horse is in too much pain and it’s nicer to put them to sleep. It’s very sad, but sometimes the best option.

“You mean you kill them??”

(I) don’t kill them, but the vet will sometimes have to make a very hard decision. My mummy is a special horse vet, and she hates having to put horses to sleep. She’s always very sad afterwards, but she understands that it’s for the best.

“But she’s a vet! She’s supposed to help animals, not hurt them!

She does help them, she looks after lots of horses everyday. But on very sad days, days when a horse is in too much pain and has hurt themselves really badly, she has to help them by letting them go to sleep. Because it’s not very nice to keep an animal in pain, just because you want them to stay with you. In a way, mummy is protecting them from even more badness.

“Yeah. OK. It’s still sad. But I understand.

Man, I’m so glad we can just put Beansie (dog) and Crooksy (cat) in the car and take them to the vet!

That’s why I want to be an animal rescue person, to help them and protect them from the hunters and the badness.”

…Phew, that was a dicey conversation. I didn’t think it was possible to stumble over my feet so much, and I don’t even have four hooves getting in the way!

Economics & The Music Industry

A PopStar Wannabe

One afternoon last week as we dawdled on home from school, via the ice cream shop of course, Miss Charlie and I were chatting about money – dollars and cents and it’s value. It was a perfectly logical conversation to be having, seeing as she’d just finished a big Unit of Work on money at school and given that she gets ample opportunity to implement its application each afternoon when paying for her purchases. I’ll usually give her a couple of dollars, and throw in a random 0.60c here or there, and she has to work out how much change she’ll get in return. It proves to be a rather educative exercise considering that she can never seem to settle on the one ice cream and so each day it’s a different one and a different price. Variety is the spice of life I guess!

On this particular occasion Miss Charlie stumped me with a challenging request as she proudly pocketed the leftover change. And although I’m more than happy to contribute to her money-box savings, I did mention that she’s got a keen eye for “forgotten” loose change. Eyes of a magpie!

‘When we get home, can you please help me write a song?’

Of course I can, we’ll get started on it right away. She has piano and violin lessons at my house, hence the interest in music and her turning to me for assistance.

‘Yay! Let’s go to your place. We can use the big piano instead of my little toy pink piano. It needs to be a really good song. How soon do you think we’ll have it finished? Should we make it rhyme? I’ve got some dance moves to go with it. Do you think we should make it a happy or sad song? We’re going to be rich!’

Gosh, to be a 6-year-old again, full of creativity and busting at the seems to make it all happen without even the slightest hint of a doubt that it might not be possible.

Firstly, why do you want to write this song?
Secondly, why is there a rush on it?
Thirdly, I totes like the sound of some matching dance moves!
Fourthly, what are we writing/singing about? That might determine how we feel when we’re writing and therefore whether it’s happy or sad.
And lastly, wait, what. We’re going to be rich?

‘Because when I was with Mum and Dad we saw this amazing house that we like. But Dad said it was selling for AUD $5 million and that it was a little too expensive for us to buy. Even if I gave them my money-box savings!’

So I was thinking about it and practising my music really hard this week and I decided that I would write a really good song to sell on iTunes and YouTube. I’d sell it for dollars (definitely not cents) and make millions! Then I’ll give it to Mum and Dad so we can buy that house. But I think I need your help to make it really good. It doesn’t have to be ‘wow’, it just needs to be catchy and light and loud so that people hear it and can’t get it out of their heads.

iTunes? YouTube? Sell music? Make millions? How on earth does she know about things like this, she’s six! She’s subliminally caught on to everything that is wrong with our pop music industry! And I wouldn’t be so quick to turn down her money box savings either, she’s got half of my forgotten loose change stashed in her money box!

So, I only see a couple of issues with this here. Firstly, the pop music industry is a pretty tough one to crack into first go (even if it does suck). Secondly, it’s going to take a while to make our millions, especially if illegal downloads are anything to go by. Thirdly, I’m really not that talented. Incredibly flattered, even if it is blind naivety, but a pop star in the making I am not. Sadly.

That being said, in the interest of being a good sport, I shall facilitate her request. So listen up y’all.. I am now taking suggestions about how to be the next Katy Perry. Or to simply replace the existing. Did you catch her ‘sing’ at the EMA’s? Unfortunately I did.

You can drop an anonymous idea in the suggestion box (currently being used as a makeshift money-box) or you can leave a comment below. We’ve got $5 million to make, better get writing. Oh and also, I promise to credit all royalties where due. Not a word of a lie. See, and this is why musicians don’t make any money.

Do your kids get carried away with such great ideas? Do they also make it hard for you to support creativity and aspirations with plain old simple reality and physics?

And I’ll say it again: iTunes, YouTube. Sell music to make money? It doesn’t need to be good, just catchy?! Well this here is where the problem is at!

Master Chef Junior: The Soufflé

The Saffolo Soufflé & The Benefits Of Reading

[pullquote width=”300″ float=”left”]”Reading will help you to enjoy fancy restaurants more” says Miss6.[/pullquote]

Musings from Miss Charlie.

Look at this book. I got it yesterday. I’m so excited! Can you help me make a bookmark for it? Sure thing. It’s good to use a bookmark. That way you can keep track of what page you’re up to and not have to turn down the corners of the page. I hate doing that! It’ll also last longer. Books always get so tattered otherwise. Shall we cover the bookmark in stickers and glitter?

Yeah that’s a good idea! I need it because I want to stay on track with this book so that I can finish it in time for Christmas. Why in time for Christmas?

Well then I can ask for the series for Christmas and spend all of my summer holidays reading of course! I want to do lots and lots of reading! Silly me. I guess I should have known that. Because she does so much reading usually… I knew you’d start to like reading sooner or later. It’s just the best thing ever isn’t it?! Reading is such a good hobby to have. It’ll make you very clever and you’ll be able to talk to anyone about almost anything. You’ll learn lots of new things and be able to use many different words to say what you really mean.