The Only Way To Have A Friend Is To Be One

The Joys of true friendship

I’m currently loving the good vibes of a long weekend. There’s just something so great about getting a three-day weekend every once in a while to change it up a bit. It’s the equivalent to a mini holiday in an otherwise long few months. Even better than enjoying a three-day weekend is getting to spend it with my best friend. She’s back in town for the weekend and I’m loving it; happy days!

I recently saw a blog post by Tiffany Zimmerman @ The Working Mother’s Notebook. She was talking to her kids about “How to be Friends”. She went on to quote Emerson, saying that the only way to have a friend is to be one.

It’s really quite timely that I happened across this post at the same time my best friend was to be back in town. We usually keep up a long-distance relationship. Yes, it call it a relationship and not just a friendship. We’ve been maintaining this since we both graduated from university and went off to make our mark in the world.

In my opinion, Emerson really sums up the conditions of friendship quite nicely and it got me to thinking. This insider wisdom is something that I’ve been trying to impart onto my kiddies for a while now. With all the girls at stages of their lives in where they’re undergoing changes in activities and interests, they’re also changing friends as well. Because that’s what kids do right, they haven’t quite learned that having friends with differences can actually be advantageous. We’ve had many talks about liking each and everyone for who they are, despite their differences, and to show kindness and respect to all. We’ve had talks about the need to show empathy and understanding, to have the want and inclination to be able to put ourselves into the other person’s shoe and to see what they see. And we’ve had talks to explain that sometimes friends go their separate ways from time to time, but true friends will always withstand and come back together when the time is right.

That’s exactly the way it is with my best friend. We weren’t always friends. In-fact, for a while when we first met at university you could say we were anything but friends. We were chalk and cheese. But we overcame our differences and went on to spend years together. Studying together, living together, working together, holidaying together and no-doubt driving each other crazy together. We shared our dreams and aspirations and helped each other to meet our goals.

These days we’ve gone our separate ways. We faced a fork in the road and I suddenly decided to go left and she kept working towards her goals to the right.

Thankfully our friendship has survived (like it wouldn’t)! When you have such respect and love for one another, and a deep-rooted appreciation for the friendship and you each commit yourselves, I think you’re in with a good chance. Essentially, I think that’s what Emerson was saying. It goes both ways, and takes a fair amount of contribution. Nothing comes for nothing, it all takes work, but the rewards in doing so are exponential. To quote my dear friend, you won’t get it if you don’t ask for it.

So girls, next time you’re facing friendship struggles, remember that you have to put yourself out there. Say what you want, mean it, work for it, respect it, and value it. In turn, it will all work out for the best. Remember, the only way to have a friend is to be one.

With love to my best friend. xx

Do you keep up a long distance relationship with a friend? Are you friends with someone now who you weren’t always friends with?